What makes us?

We choose what defines us. It can be anything from personality traits, to likes and dislikes. We can choose what to show of ourselves and what not to. What defines me?

Family and friends, especially the ones who send you lovely texts and those who want to meet up just because. Perspex bags and fashion magazines with a side of coffee or herbal tea, not fruity ones though! Galleries and exhibitions and architecture and travel. Also enjoyed with a cup of coffee in hand.

Shopping, even window shopping and restaurants with exposed brick walls and metal pipes and amazing food. Wearing colourful faux-fur, nice colours of course and travel and of course dreams…

Because with dreams, we have great things to achieve.

Exploration is the only way forward

As i sit here, staring at this blank canvas of a tumblr post, i think about how i am going communicate my idea in a thoughtful, clever and concise piece of text. This is a long and complex issue which i am not trying to analyse, but i suppose i am sort of trying to explain it to myself.

Without exploring, we can’t really say we do or do not like something. Obvious! The way our mums used to tell us that until we tried the cabbage, we couldn’t say we didn’t like it (and i have so say, i quite like cabbage).

This same rule of exploration applies to life. I say i want to travel America. I know the states i want to visit. The reasons why and i even know some of the shops, restaurants an places of interest i want to see. I have all these sudden desires of places i want ti go and things i want to do, and i can’t. That’s the point!

Right now, i could buy a ticket and go. This trip could be amazing. It could be terrible. My anxiety is what is stopping me at the moment. The idea of me doing such a thing is utterly terrifying, though when i analyse the issues fully, i see no problem other than my anxiety holding me back. (which isn’t as much of a hindrance as it is to others).

Without exploring all these wonderful dreams of mine (basically a form of helping my anxiety/using CBT techniques) I wont be able to move forward.

I live two lives. The one in my head where i do all these amazing things (thus proving within reason that i CAN do them) and the one i am living with hints of fear here and there.

I will not wake up tomorrow feeling fearless. I have techniques to work on. And until i start exploring these techniques, then, and only then, will i by heading towards a semi-fearless existence, which as far as i’m concerned, sounds amazing!

I still dream of working in Paris and New York and though that wont be any time too soon, there is no harm in keeping those goals in mind. After all, there is a fearless being inside me…



Sudden Desires

It’s been a while since i have written about my thoughts, but it’s about time i started writing again and becoming me again. I hate being lost.

I started thinking earlier when i was talking to my cousin. Her and her husband have been married for almost two years and have yet to go on their honeymoon. They have decided to do a ten day road-trip around Europe. Then i thought…

… Wouldn’t it just be great, to get in a car, with everything you need. This being a personof your choice, clothing, which would be all the greatest things you wish you owned, in my case everything i love in my magazines and on street-style blogs. The nicest toiletries in the prettiest bag. Three cameras. One polaroid. One film. One digital. That’s my personal preference. A blanket, travel cushion, a thermos, music… and a passport.

It would be nice to sort of, wing-it. Old style. With a map that’s too big to open, and maybe a smaller map of Europe to be on the safe side. Oh and emergency stuff as i you never know when you may break down. Ideally, if you break down, it would sort of be nice in the rain.

A costal trip would be good. That way, you follow the coast accros three or so countries and visit all the costal towns. Eating local food. Buying local bit’s. Meeting people, seeing new places, preferably whilst wearing a pair of aviator glasses and rocking the Prada (Spring/Summer 2013 green and white) bag… and a hat. We all need to wear more hats!

Accommodation. Nice places. Not fancy. I like the idea of a shutter dropping off the window as you go to open the window, to an extent. But it would be nice to spend at least one night somewhere really fancy.

"Someone else is living the life that i have dreamt of living and worked so hard to get too. I just didn’t realise there would be so many bumps in the road. The daft thing to do, is to sit back, watch and beat yourself up about it. The clever thing to do, is to make it your life."

All i want to do right now is jump into bed, and read my January edition of British Vogue.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."
A Dream within a Dream by Edgar Allan Poe (via idreamofaworldofcouture)

(via The Gifts Of Life on imgfave)
"Don’t let dreams be dreams"
Jack Johnson (via vikmonte)


With a great collection of surreal-inspired digital collages, Julien Pacaud has created a series that channels what he calls “Perpendicular Dreams.” He works “with bargain-hunted vintage imagery and tries to go beyond the usual ‘cut and paste’ technique in order to create coherent-but- surrealistic strange worlds.”

"Even the wildest dreams have to start somewhere. Allow yourself the time and space to let your mind wander and your imagination fly."
Oprah Winfrey

Fear, Excitement, success, imagination… It’s all pretty confusing.

Hearing someone say that i had just “answered my own questions”, suggests to me that it was already in my subconcious. But in this instance, was I just saying these things because it’s what the other person wanted to hear.

I’m not upset because cleary I have to think about what i want out of life. Frankly i think i have it all sorted. My imagination may be wild but in contrast, i’m pretty sensible.

Unfortunately, these our common questions (not just for me):
Have I screwed everything up?
Am I taking the easy option out?
Can i do as i planned for now and get to whatever they suggest later?
Uh oh…. are they right? Therefore will i look back and have a load of regrets?
Is this stupid?
Am i just right? Things just take time.
Isn’t happiness, love , good health, family/friends & living your passion a good life.

"All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose." - Brian Tracy

A blue Vespa. Cobble Streets. Blue shoes. Vintage Dress. My dream would be to be in this image. Driving a Vespa around Europe. Solo. It’s less of the idealistic image that i want. More the freedom to drive on this beautiful blue creation. Through cities and towns. Discovering new things…

A blue Vespa. Cobble Streets. Blue shoes. Vintage Dress. My dream would be to be in this image. Driving a Vespa around Europe. Solo. It’s less of the idealistic image that i want. More the freedom to drive on this beautiful blue creation. Through cities and towns. Discovering new things…

"It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it."
Oriah Mountain Dreamer (via tomb-and-temple)

“The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.” ― Benson Bruno, Evergreens Are Prudish

I rather like this quote. (In the title). I have to admit that i dream an idealistic life. A life where i can travel the world. Sit under the stars with piles of blankets, cushions and feel safe and free and wild at the same time.

In reality. Don’t we all just want the same thing? Good health. Happiness. Good living standards…

When you have big dreams, you often feel like you can conquer the world. But in reality. Plans just don’t pan out the they way we plan. This is good. I’m a great believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. Therefore no matter what we do in life, this must mean that we end up where we are destined to belong?